Hi, this is Raymond Rich from Team Balance Bar. We are en route to a 3,000ft mountain in the middle of the Beast of the East on Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday, and we've got a little ditty that we'd like to do for anyone who cares to hear it. Here we go:

You're so pretty,
Doggone pretty,
You're so pretty to me.
With your skin tight clothes,
And your Lycra suit,
You're so pretty to me.

Then, three days into the race, unbeknownst to us, she became:

You're so ugly,
Doggone ugly,
You're so ugly to me...

We're working on the rest, but her face is changing moment by moment.

— Raymond Rich, Team Balance Bar

BEAST DISPATCHES